Proud to be British Read more from journalists who champion our culture, history and values Enjoy a full year’s access to The Telegraph for £29. | | Gabriella Swerling Social and Religious Affairs Editor | Over the past eight weeks an astonishing case has been in courtroom 1 at Inner London Crown Court.
Chris Brain, a 68-year-old eccentric former priest, presided over an evangelical church “cult” in Sheffield in the 1980s and 90s known as the Nine O’Clock Service (NOS), which spliced acid house music with worship and abuse.
Hundreds of people would queue every Sunday at 9pm to get into his groundbreaking service, which tapped into the contemporary touchy-feely dance scene zeitgeist with the use of stunning multimedia projections far ahead of its time. But 30 years later, Brain has been found guilty of abusing “a staggering number of women”. He was convicted of 17 counts of indecent assault and cleared of a further 15. Jurors failed to reach a verdict on four counts of indecent assault and a rape charge.
Dozens of witnesses including his victims, former NOS members, Church of England clergy, and a bishop, were called upon to give evidence. The jury of three women and nine men heard how he surrounded himself with a “harem” of scantily clad, vulnerable victims known as “handmaidens”, “lycra nuns”, or “lycra lovelies”.
These women were tasked with caring for Brain with duties involving cooking, cleaning and “putting him to bed” - which meant performing disturbing sexual favours. Massages inevitably led to unsolicited fondling, or, sometimes Brain encouraging the women to fondle each other while he watched. To say no to him, was to say no to God. | Chris Brain faced dozens of sexual assault charges | Another court case, another abuse scandal within the Church of England. But this was different. Brain was backed by the uppermost echelons of the institution. He was personally endorsed and revered by the then Archbishop of Canterbury, George Carey, 89, who now sits in the House of Lords, and had his ordination “fast-tracked” because he was attracting so many young people to the church at a time when officials were desperate to do the same. He was untouchable.
Witness after witness took to the stand, often breaking down in tears, telling how Brain was a God-like “prophet” whom they “worshipped”.
As he gave his side of the story, arm cocked on the stand, laughing as he recalled his evidence, he spouted New Age psychobabble, often failing to directly address the questions of the barristers and the judge. He dismissed the allegations against him as a “witch hunt”.
“I wasn’t a traditionally ordained vicar,” he told the court. “I'm the most radical ordained vicar there was.”
The murmurs began long before Brain’s much-anticipated trial. And when South Yorkshire Police began their investigation in 2019, it was clear Brain had got away with so much because he was so revered by Church officials. The question remains: can the Church of England be sure that it has done enough to ensure that there will never be another Chris Brain? Read more here ➤ | | Choosing the worst song of all time seems like an impossible task: for every Eleanor Rigby or Born to Run, pop music has given us 10 more howlers. But The Telegraph’s brave writers, including Camilla Tominey, Michael Deacon and Neil McCormick, have taken on the challenge regardless.
Their choices couldn’t be too obviously dreadful – sorry, Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum) – but no “sacred cow”, whether it be a Beatles classic, a karaoke favourite or a bona fide dancefloor-filler, was off limits.
You’re almost guaranteed to disagree, but that’s all part of the fun... See our list here ➤ | | Annabel Denham The Government is banking on our quiet surrender to ever higher taxes and an ever larger state. This is a gross miscalculation Continue reading ➤ Daniel Hannan If flags become markers of ethnic identity, I fear the Britain I once loved will disappear Continue reading ➤ Jake Wallis Simons It’s time for the whole truth on the UN’s declaration of famine in Gaza Continue reading ➤ | Time spent wisely See another side to today’s biggest stories with Britain’s leading comment writers One year for £29 | | Puberty blockers were banned last year after the Commission on Human Medicines found there was “currently an unacceptable safety risk… to children”. Despite this, unregulated private providers such as Anne Health – run by Susie Green, the former boss of trans charity Mermaids – have sought to circumvent the law. New evidence uncovered by The Telegraph reveals how the clinic is using an EU loophole to give children access to these outlawed drugs. Continue reading ➤ | | Georgina Bailey, 32, lost over 7st and cut her metabolic age from 45 to 16 – without fat jabs. Through smarter eating, consistent exercise and careful calorie tracking, she built strength, fitness and confidence. Here, she shares the strategies and mindset behind her remarkable transformation. Continue reading ➤ | | | On Aug 11, Russian soldiers breached Ukraine’s front-line defences and penetrated at least six miles behind enemy lines. The advance set off alarm bells among Kyiv’s supporters who feared it marked the start of a new offensive. But what the Russian soldiers did not know was that Ukrainian forces were aware of the attack before the mission even began. How they responded offers a glimpse of what’s to come on the battlefields of Ukraine. Continue reading ➤ | | | Mel Brooks is Hollywood’s great survivor - a man whose rapier wit has led to some of the greatest comic films of all time. Now 99, and still as sharp as a tack, he talks to Dominic Cavendish about the censoring of Blazing Saddles, testy rabbis and why the Fuhrer is comedy gold. Continue reading ➤ | | | In one of the most shocking cases I have ever taken on as The Telegraph's Consumer Champion, I fought for eight months to get equity release companies to reverse £200,000 of interest that racked up after our reader’s conman partner persuaded her to remortgage her flat, writes Katie Morley. After helping to arrange the £82,000 in loans, he stole it all to give to an aspiring pop star, and was later jailed for fraud. I tried everything to persuade the equity release companies to reimburse the victim of this dreadful crime. But would they be willing to put things right? Continue reading ➤ | | A Moroccan mystery Every Sunday, Sarah Knapton, our Science Editor, and Joe Pinkstone, our Science Correspondent, demystify your supernatural experiences. From ghoulish encounters to bizarre coincidences, there’s always a scientific explanation and nothing is as strange as it seems...
A baffled reader writes...
I went on holiday to Morocco and booked to stay in a small privately owned Riad with only four guest bedrooms in a small town.
On my first morning I went down for breakfast and friends who live in my small village in England were sitting there.
We had not discussed holidays beforehand and neither of us knew we were going to Morocco.
Sarah and Joe answer...
“Of all the riads, in all the towns, in all the world….” You don’t tell us whether you were staying in Casablanca, but certainly the shock of running into old friends in Morocco was as much of a surprise as Ilsa sauntering into Rick’s Café.
It might seem baffling to bump into an old chum on holiday, but actually it is quite common. In fact, a survey carried out by LastMinute.com in 2014, found that three-quarters of Britons have encountered an acquaintance on their travels.
According to psychologists, it occurs because people we spend time with unconsciously shape our preferences, a phenomenon known as ‘social influence.’
We tend to hang out with people who share similar views, live in similar areas and have similar bank balances, so it is no surprise that we would also choose similar holiday destinations, however unwittingly. It is why a well-heeled London banker is likely to spot his wealthy Westminster neighbour swishing down the slopes of Gstaad, while a young Brighton bohemian may run into their vegan dog groomer on a Goan breathwork retreat. | | You might reasonably assume that “ugly” is the ultimate insult. Not so when it comes to footwear, apparently. First there were Birkenstocks and Crocs, but now fashion folk have seized upon freaky “five finger” styles and lace-up ghillies. So, which is the ugliest shoe of all? See our ranking and have your say here.
Below are two more articles that I hope will brighten your weekend: | Free thinkers wanted Discuss and debate today’s biggest talking points, directly with our journalists One year for £29 |  | As the founder of the Hollywood restaurant that bore his name, Dan Tana had countless stories of encounters with “A-list” stars, writes Andrew M Brown, obituaries editor.
Regulars at Dan Tana’s included Frank Sinatra and John Wayne, Paul Newman and Fred Astaire, and The Eagles wrote a hit song at one of the tables. Tana once delivered a basket of food and a bottle of Dom Pérignon to Elizabeth Taylor, who answered the door in a transparent negligee.
Just as extraordinary, though, is the other half of this Serbian refugee’s story: it involves a passion for football that took Dan Tana (a name he adopted for a brief acting career) from being scouted to play for Red Star Belgrade, to transplanting his family to 1970s London, where he immersed himself in the English game, playing on Sundays in Hyde Park – and ended up as chairman of then ailing Brentford FC, where he presided over a renaissance in the club’s fortunes.
This is an obituary that’s gloriously rich in exotic detail, and you can read it here.
| | Test your trivia skills and put the answers below in order. Play all three rounds of today’s trivia game, Sorted, plus our full range of brainteasers on Telegraph Puzzles.
Get a head start on today’s Vintage Crossword by cracking this clue: Friday’s Panagram was TYPICALLY. Come back tomorrow for the solution to today’s puzzle. | | Thank you for reading. Allister Heath, Sunday Telegraph Editor
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